More On Pleasure

I'm getting these really interesting periods of time wherein I am feeling waves of pleasure cascade through my body in slow-motion. All of this is contingent upon not locking down the pleasurable feelings and breathing through the experience but basically I'm experiencing these mini-orgasmic moments when I'm feeling very good all over my body.

The only downside is that it never lasts.

Also, I have lost the ability to eat more than a few mouthsful without feeling great pain and discomfort in my gut. I suppose all my friends who have followed my desire to lose weight will say, "Hey... Great!" but it is not so easy. What I am seeing is that we can easily become someone different than the person we've been in the past and "improve" ourselves but it comes with a price. We have to give up being the person we were comfortable with before.

I have come to see that I was comfortable with the fat slug me and his gourmand periods of expression. (bouts
of over-eating) Now I cannot do things the same way I did them before.

I react really strongly to alcohol. I immediately begin to sweat profusely if I put any in me. I feel good, but I
cannot put more than a couple of mouthsful of anything on top of the alcohol before I feel nauseous. Then when
I'm down, I feel an overwhelming need for protein (meat!) in large amounts... (then I feel nauseous from too much food)

Basically, I'm becoming new. I now see that the main reason why people have serious problems changing isn't the
change itself which is the problem, it is that keeping the change after it has occurred involves being willing to live
inside an amazingly different human being than the one you were comfortable with. There is a period of adjustment
which requires you to relax into a new way of being.

Not that I don't know that I will slide right back into the person I was. The price of freedom is eternal vigilance.

I'm really interested in what happens now.